Excerpt-The Zahir

As Dante wrote in The Divine Comedy : "The day that man allows true love to appear, those things which are well made will fall into confusion and will overturn everything we believe to be right and true." The world will become real when man learns how to love; until then we will live in the belief that we know what love is, but we will always lack the courage to confront it as it truly is.
(p. 91 last par.)

Unsettled

Dear friends,

I am feeling a bit down these few days. I have not had any night with good sleep lately and I have been waking up during my night sleeps.I ponder a lot lately. About me. The me in the past, the me in the present and the me that I am going to be. Because my head is less occupied by things that i should do, my mind starts to ravel.

Let’s face it, we all will go through moments like these.

Moments when we think that we could have done certain things.

Moments when we think that we could have done certain things, better.

Moments when we think that we could not have done certain things.

Moments when we think that we could have started doing certain things.

And the lists could go on forever, and we wish we could turn back times.

I feel unsettled. Incomplete. Hollow. Regretful.

The feeling that I could have been a better person kept racing in my mind. Bear in mind that I am the type of person who let go. It could be this time, I have let go enough and all the thoughts that I let go previously have come back to me now.

It is taking its toll.

"The Blowers Daughter"

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time

And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time

And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...

My mind...my mind...

Lovely song from damien rice .soundtrack of the movie 'closer'.

The Scientist - Coldplay

The Scientist

come up to meet ya
tell ya i'm sorry
you don't know how lovely you are
i had to find you
tell you i need you
tell you i set you apart

tell me your secrets
and ask me your questions
oh let's go back to the start
running in circles
coming up tails
heads on a silence apart

nobody said it was easy
it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
noone ever said it would be this hard
oh take me back to the start

i was just guessing
at numbers and figures
pulling your puzzles apart
questions of science
science and progress
do not speak as loud as my heart

tell me you love me
come back and haunt me
ooh and i rush to the start
running in circles
chasing our tails
coming back as we are

nobody said it was easy
it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
noone ever said it would be so hard
i'm going back to the start

coldplay- a band with very heavy soft rock type of music. my favourite band ever and freaking love this song!!..never get boring with this song, dunno why. also one of the soundtrack in my fav movie wicker park..listen to it in the morning to make my day...

Regret?

Why does everything have to be about regret?

All you could say is that..we could have been there..right there..could have been easier..we could have grabbed it..
It's all about the word "could have" and the rest follows.
I have regretted a lot of things.. simply because ..i'm scared. and after a while, i began to believe that anyway, it's meant to be..

Sometimes, what's hard to accept is regret coming from stupidity..

It could have been a chance..i just let it go.and there may be no opportunity for it anymore.

Love

MARCH 2008


My love affair with the camera has grown and expanded, leading my life path to unexpected twists and turns.For the past years, it has been an on-off affair. Now, my interest for photography has been revived with my recent acquisition of a new digital camera - Canon 400D. Since I got this new baby girl, I have never stopped looking for reasons to shoot. I'm still not quite sure where this rekindled passion for the camera will actually lead me. But one thing's for sure...I really love this kinda hobby.

14 FEBRUARY 2008

I always thought whether I’ll be alone forever, no one to love, no one to hold, no one to care for, no one to think about... That has all changed now. First time i met you at Low Yatt Plaza, my heart started to race. Your beautiful lovely face made me realized that an angel still exists in this world. Without hesitation, I took you away from that stupid, big ass, fat, lousy salesman who knows nothing bout you. We went to see a movie, 'Jumper' together at Berjaya Times Square and everyone kinda stared at me because of you.I know, i know, they all really jealous at me cause i bring such a beautiful partner on that special valentine's day. How lucky i am.

Since then, you are my aura, my energy, my strength, my spirit. You brought back meanings to my once sorrowful life. Whatever happens between me and you, it doesn’t matter, because my feelings for you have already been set in stones, my heart has leaped out and has grabbed onto you. You may not be believe this, but what I have for you is very real....if an angel came to me and say that you will die, and the angel ask me if I am willing to trade my life for yours, then without thinking I would gladly say yes, because you are my life, without you, my soul is dead. Everything I told you, my feelings for you, my wishes for you, my desires for you, are all real. I had never lied with you, and I never will. I use no poems or anything that is not how I really feel... I love you, but I think the word love is not strong enough for how I feel for you. You are everything to me. I wish I can be with you forever and ever and ever, for all eternity... My baby girl..

You can see how much i love her